Ohio Impromptu

I liked it. You could leave it as is, or if you want to expand it then I think there's definately potential there. *is excited because it feels like for ...

Once every so often (it'd probably happen more if I came here more often) I read something with imagery thats so strong and vivid I'm forced to smile; it goes ...

As far as haiku's go, these were great. I like how you weren't trying to cover too great subjects in haiku; something very few people can do. Haiku is meant ...

I have a tendency to give stupid advice, so let me just say it reminded me of Sad But True by Metallica except it was more wordy. Aside from that, ...

Gah, it's been so long since I've read anything you've written - a fact I regret now after reading this. I swear, you're the most original poet on this whole ...

You can expand on haikus; all you do is write a series of them. Each haiku can be like a stanza in any other kind of poetry, all relating to ...

It was too 'this is what's happening' when it should be 'this is what's happening and how, and why, and what it means. I guess te actions were supposed to ...

From what you've got here I can tell that you have a good story, good characters and can definately make this into something people will read. However, at this current ...

This made me smile. Before this I had forgotten why I got into poetry, and now I remember. Its the simple thing wrapped in bigger thing. Not sure if you ...

This sounds like something that I've been doing for a while now. Whether or not I've been having lucid dreams, I don't know, but I have been having dreams with ...

It was ok, but nothing special. The rhyming could be improved on, but since I never used that system I can't help much there. Maybe extend it a little bit ...

If I were to judge this on feeling alone then I'd say its magnificent. However, we're here to talk about the writing side of thing, so it wasn't that magnificent. ...

16. Accidentally call him ‘Buzz’ every now and again, for no good reason. 18. Sneak up behind him. Go ‘Boo!’ and giggle and then walk away mumbling that you ‘got ...

1. Cheer up. 2. Your emotions seem to exceed the writing you displayed here. When writing about such strong feelings you need originality to make them better to read about. ...

T'was good, if not a bit one dimensional. I could see what was going on in the story because you described everything exceptionally well, but it was too "this is ...